Scientists Discover Parallel Universe!

In a shocking development, scientists from a powerful but otherwise obscure University announced today that they have discovered a parallel Universe "right around the corner."

A spokesperson, who wishes to be misquoted, explained to this reporter the details of the startling discovery.

"In a botched experiment at our underfunded physics lab this morning, we stumbled across evidence that there definitely exists a parallel Universe, situated a microsecond's delay in the space time continuum from our own. This places it 'just around the corner', relativityly speaking, from us. We have been able to monitor this Universe via a malfunctioning Indirect TV satellite dish. Naturally, we are not about to call in for repairs!

From what we have been able to discover so far, this Universe is EXACTLY like our own, only different. They have constellations and galaxies as we do, but their Milky Way is called the 'Smooth and Creamy Way'. They even have a solar system much like ours. The star of that system is called 'Sole', and the third planet from the star is called 'Merth'. Apparently, this planet is a peaceful place, with no concept of war or aggression and is technologically advanced as we are, but they have a few problems.

Their capital city, called 'Mew Nork', is host to a giant cat named CATZILLA, and the otherwise peaceful planet is being harassed by space aliens who live on the fourth planet from their sun, 'Mews', which has been mistakenly called 'Meow Mew' by inept Hollywood parody producers.

The space aliens from that planet seem to have a strange fixation with invading 'Merth', but as far as we can tell, CATZILLA drives them away whenever they land. We are not certain what type of car CATZILLA drives them away in, however.

Our reception is a bit spotty right now, but we will release more information as soon as we are able to get more funding for our research. Send checks to..."

The scientific spokesperson also told me that there is hope of broadcasting a live transmission from 'Merth' as soon as their delivery pizza arrives. Their equipment, I was told, needs vast quantities of melted cheese in order to function properly. This broadcast will be transmitted over the Internet to save on outrageous network TV costs.

# # #