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ClydeSight2.0!
Presents...
A Time Travel Clyde Mini-Epic!
THE IDIOCY AND THE ODDITY
(with apologies to Homer, the ancient Greek
Gods and Heroes,
and lovers of great literature everywhere!)
--Part II --
The ODDITY: An Epic Adventure!
Chapter Ten:
THE GIFT OF YODELOLEUS
Yodeloleus was a Jolly God and free as the wind because, well, he was the wind.
Or more precisely, the winds were his long time friends and companions and they took
him everywhere. Like the wind, Yodeloleus got into everything, a nice perk since
he was very nosey.
The God of Wind and Bluster was sunning himself on his private island (which was
also a tax shelter) when Clydesseus and his hapless band arrived in Roe Boat.
In an instant, Yodeloleus sent one of the four winds to snatch Clydesseus from the
ship using a Virtus Sky Sufin' Sofa borrowed from the virtual future. In a few moments,
very much to the surprise of the Meowing Kitties, Clydesseus was brought to a high
mountain top, which was very windy, which Yodeloleus liked.
"Well, King of Hissica, I see you've gotten yourself into a spot
of trouble." The Jolly God giggled as he floated on the wind, something he just
loved to do.
"Nothing I can't handle." Replied the arrogant Clydesseus. He didn't trust
any of the Gods anymore, which was unfortunate because not all the Gods were against
him as Poseidon was.
Yodeloleus was not offended and helpfully suggested, "Perhaps, but have you
considered how you are going to get home? Poseidon is never going to let you get
there. Besides, your map blew overboard." The God winked.
"How do you know that!" Demanded Clydesseus.
"The winds brought it to me." Smiled the God, producing the tattered map
in his hand.
Clydesseus sighed. "Ah, with my map and my band of Roe-ers, I could return yet
to my homeland. But, what would be the use? Time has passed me by and there is nothing
but sadness to greet my return."
"Maybe so, maybe not." Offered the God. "I hear secrets all the time
because they are carried to me by the four winds. Shall I tell you one?"
Yodeloleus chuckled and then tried to put on a serious face, something almost impossible
for him. "The Fates have had a hand in this, and even time cannot defy fate."
He said in a mock deep voice, trying to sound ever so important. Then in a lighter
tone he added, "Perhaps, they can help you, or may be helping you already. I
would suggest that you consider your fate and find out. Anyway, I am instructed by
Hurries to tell you another secret. Hee, hee, I just love telling secrets."
"I don't see how it will help me, but go ahead if you must." The despondent Clydesseus replied.
"Huh? Oh, yes. Well, the secret is in the beach ball!"
"Oh, that." Muttered Clydesseus. "I already know all about that.
It's filled with catnip, a treasure I had hoped to bring home with me."
"There is treasure in it," laughed the Jolly God, "but it is not catnip.
This treasure can be the undoing of Poseidon's plots to keep you from returning home.
The ball is filled with air!" Yodeloleus looked very proud as he said this.
"That's a treasure? I hardly see how! What I really need is a harpoon so
I can shoot down Poseidon!" Complained Clydesseus.
"Oh, little hero, how can you be so foolish?" Commented Yodeloleus, looking
a bit sad and concerned. "We Gods cannot be destroyed by weapons; to dare fight
with us is death itself, for we are very powerful. And, as in the case of Poseidon,
some of us carry a grudge!
The trick with us Gods, you adorable little cat, is to let us love you.
The Gods never hurt those they love. And our hearts are really filled with love much
more than anger or hate. Of course, we do have our limits. Poseidon would love you,
if you'd just come around to his way of thinking. You really should cut him some
slack. After all, living at the bottom of the ocean, he's under a lot of pressure...
PRESSURE, get it? Hee hee, I'll have to remember that!"
Clydesseus moaned.
"Well, anyway, in his case, this will be a monumental task for you, because
he is SOOOO angry. But, they say he can also have a generous heart, as kind and loving
as his temper is terrible. Quite frankly, I doubt, considering your current relationship,
you'll ever discover that... Pity...
Anyway, since your chances of making peace with him are slimmer than one of your
whiskers, you should stay out of his way. The air in the ball will help you escape
his wrath!"
"But it is only air, and that is useless." Replied Clydesseus.
"Not if the air is wind."
"Wind? How..?"
"Pollywallydoodlededoo got his beach ball as a souvenir from a political convention
and you can't get more wind than that!" The gentle God chuckled. "This
wind, which normally changes direction at the least pressure, can take you home in
no time. Simply open the valve in the ball a little to let the wind of political
rhetoric propel you forward, and apply a little pressure on it to get it to change
direction!"
"It's that simple?" Asked Clydesseus.
"Sure, special interest groups do it all the time. But that is all I can tell
you. The Fates have ways of dealing with Gods who talk too much and I have a reputation
as a blabbermouth. Hee, hee. Guess who gets Zeus into trouble with Hera all the time?
Yes, it's me! I can't help telling her what he's up to, it's so much fun. She gets
so angry, and he tries everything to appease her."
"You could get into a lot of trouble doing that!" Clydesseus warned.
"Umm, not really. Zeus is after all, my brother, and he knows I can tell him
where to find the prettiest nymphs and maidens. He has an eye for beauty, my brother
does.
Oh, and one other thing I can tell you is that, you must never let the wind escape
from the beach ball except through the valve! Beware, Clydesseus, if it does, you
may never get home. Uncontrolled political rhetoric can be very dangerous. So, be
warned!"
Clydesseus, realizing that the God was kind and, in his way, a friend, thanked Yodeloleus
for his counsel. The Virtus Sky Surfin' Sofa whisked him back to Roe Boat in a flash.
As the band set sail yet again, Yodeloleus said to himself. "He thanked me,
he actually thanked me! Imagine, gratitude from a cat! Perhaps he is learning something
after all."
And, from the sea, he heard just the faintest echo, "It's about time!"
He wondered who made that comment, then shrugged, put on his
portable cassette player headphones so he could continue enjoying
"Symphonia Felina and Other
Mewsical Masterworks", and went back to sunning himself
while the winds held him aloft and played with his hair. They
say his whistling could be heard around the world. That's
where we get the phrase, "whistling on the wind."
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