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ClydeSight2.0!
Presents...
A Time Travel Clyde Mini-Epic!
THE IDIOCY AND THE ODDITY
(with apologies to Homer, the ancient Greek
Gods and Heroes,
and lovers of great literature everywhere!)
--Part II --
The ODDITY: An Epic Adventure!
Chapter Eleven:
BREAKING WIND
Roe Boat sailed far out to sea from the Island of Yodeloleus,
following the map that Clydesseus had returned to him. Using
the star charts, the kitties discovered to their dismay that
they had gone very far off course, and the way home would
be a long one. Depending on the sail for propulsion would
mean many months of sailing!
Clydesseus listened to complaints from his band, and tried
to cheer them up by having them play a little ship board evening
concert on their MIDI instruments. Sometimes, making mewsic
together does wonders to lift spirits. So it was this time,
and everyone felt much better and were feeling friendly again.
With a twinkle in his eye, Clydesseus told them to relax and
go below to sleep, that he "had a feeling" everything
would be all right. He would stand watch on deck this night.
While the Meowing Kitties slept, Clydesseus lowered the sail
and crept up to the giant beach ball of Pollywallydoodlededoo.
He adjusted the valve and let the wind out just as Yodeloleus
had instructed him. Unfortuantley the valve was just slightly
defective, so it make a very obscene noise. This disturbed
Akitties who shouted "Hey, come on Clydesseus, give us
a break!". Clydesseus quickly hissed "Sorry, gas..."
Regardless of the obscene noise, the wind did exactly as Yodeloleus
had promised and Roe Boat shot across the water, flying over
the waves on the boisterous wind of self-righteous political
rhetoric. The little ship covered miles in minutes and made
great progress towards home. As dawn approached, Clydesseus
carefully shut off the valve, raised the sail and returned
to the rudder.
When the kitties came on deck and the navigator took a reading
with his sextant (which is a navigation tool, in spite of
its curious spelling), he expressed amazement at the progress!
Clydesseus did not dare tell them his secret, for just one
curious kitty with a misplaced claw could mean disaster for
the expedition. So, he simply shrugged and said they 'got
lucky'.
And, during the day, they used the sail so the ship seemed
to be simply caught by a favorable wind.
But the journey was beginning to take its toll on the crew.
Even with the power of the beach ball, it would be weeks before
Roe Boat neared Hissica. As the days went on, tempers grew
short, arguments were frequent and no one was very happy.
They really wanted to be home again very badly.
To try and keep the Meowing Kitties' morale up, Clydesseus
ordered a MIDI concert every night. They played mewsic together
and tried to make merry before falling asleep below decks.
They never tired of playing their mewsic, and truth to tell,
the practice did them good. And every night, while the kitties
slept, Clydesseus navigated Roe Boat with the winds of political
power.
But the kitties began to grow more and more restless. It seemed
very odd to them that Clydesseus insisted on keeping watch
every night, that they seemed to be making so much progress
using simple sail power, and the sea had remained remarkably
calm. They began to grow suspicious.
Rumors raised their ugly heads among the crew, and even the
morale of making mewsic together could not undo their destructive
influence. Within just a few days, the kitties were convinced
that their leader, whom they had followed so loyally, was
stealing treasure from the beach ball, and hiding it somewhere
on the ship.
The situation grew worse and worse. Even during the concerts,
fights broke out among the band members over key signatures
and modulations. They lost their cohesiveness and harmony
to the point where the mewsical instruments themselves refused
to play! (They were computer operated and had artificial intelligence.)
Then one day, when Roe Boat was but two days sail from a safe
landing at Hissica, while Clydesseus slept, Purrcules stealthily
led a group to the beach ball.
"Don't you all think it odd that every night, our leader,
Clydesseus seems to suffer from gas? He keeps waking Akitties--
and we all know that too much catnip can cause gas. Clydesseus
is clever, perhaps a bit too clever. The Togan War was costly
for him, and well-- if Clydesseus is secretly stealing from
us," he told them, "it's only fair that we look
out for our own interests. We'll just make a little slit here
at the bottom of the ball and hide some of our own treasure.
An ounce of caution is worth a pound of cure."
With that, Purrcules stuck his claw into the side of the ball
and ripped.
Instantly, all the remaining wind rushed out of the beach ball, filling the air
with the ominous sounds of governmental reform and social upheaval!
Clydesseus, awakened by the din, rushed up on deck to see the terrible devastation!
The ill wind now freely released was filling the sky with black clouds, creating
a terrific thunderstorm. The uncontrolled winds of political rhetoric whipped the
little ship in circles while huge waves washed up on deck, blowing the Roe Boat way
off course.
All night the wind howled, much like wounded politicians; the rain of self importance
battered the decks of Roe Boat while the waves, whipped into a frenzy of emotionalism,
threatened to sink the ship. It was a terrible night, and by morning, the winds had
exhausted themselves (as they always do in political upheavals) and calm returned
once more.
But the little ship Roe Boat was lost, lost far, far away in the ocean, with no direction
or place to go. Her main mast was cracked and leaning badly, hardly able to hold
up the sail, she had lost her anchor (this often happens during periods of social
change), her deck was split and cracked and water was everywhere. Political rhetoric
often does that.
"No, no!' Growled frustrated Clydesseus. "To be so close, and yet so
far away!" His heart sank within him, and he lay down on the deck, head in his
paws, and gave up all hope. Purrcules felt terrible and responsible for what he had
done. He licked Clydesseus' ears and purred, trying to apologize. The rest of the
band tried to cheer him up by playing the Hissican National Anthem (Clydesseus' favorite
tune, even if he did write it himself), but the despondent Clydesseus was beyond
hope.
The Hissican National Anthem
The Gods of Olympus had seen the storm from their palaces on high and sent Hurries
to demand an explanation from Poseidon, whom he found at the castle on Cissy's Island.
"Hey, don't look at me!" Poseidon defended himself with a sly grin. "I've
been here the whole time!"
Hurries saw the satisfied smile on Cissy's face and believed him.
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