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ClydeSight2.0!
Presents...
A Time Travel Clyde Mini-Epic!
THE IDIOCY AND THE ODDITY
(with apologies to Homer, the ancient Greek
Gods and Heroes,
and lovers of great literature everywhere!)
MIDI Clyde Tune™ BONUS:
Tribute to Thusnelda
--Part II --
The ODDITY: An Epic Adventure!
Chapter Twelve:
ACROSS THE RAINBOW BRIDGE
The sea had become very calm again. It was probably exhausted after the storm
and needed a break, although waves do have plenty of breakers.
After a long rest, the Meowing Kitties got Roe Boat ship shape but had nowhere to
go. They had lost their navigation tools in the storm they had created, and the only
direction they could tell was from the golden Apollo driven sun as he made his way
across the sky from east to west. But, the kitties weren't headed anywhere.
There was no wind, not even a breeze, and the sky was as cloudless as the kitties
were clueless.
Finally, Akitties suggested that they seek help from the Gods. It seemed reasonable
that if Poseidon the Sea God could interfere with their lives, surely the others
could as well and they might get lucky.
So thinking, they cried out to Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom and Honesty (and a few
other things as well), for help. Nothing happened. But up on Mount Olympus, there
was a council of the Gods.
"The Fates decree that we cannot interfere." Zeus warned his brilliant
daughter.
"Yet, without our help, they are doomed to die on the sea, through no fault
of Poseidon's, at least not this time, and that will not serve the Fates' purpose
either! I feel compelled to help."
King Zeus mused over the situation and then suggested, "Better ask them for
permission, before you do anything." She had inherited her Wisdom from her great
father himself.
And so blue-eyed Athena went to the home of the Three Sisters, otherwise known as
the 'House of Fate', and explained why she wanted to help. The sisters were so busy
weaving the tapestries of mortal lives they didn't have much time to pay close attention.
"Whatever." they allowed.
Meanwhile, floating on the glass surfaced sea, the Meowing Kitties-- not knowing
anything of these events-- cried out again. Nothing seemed to happen until they saw,
winging its way from over the horizon, a bird-- an owl-- who was obviously either
way off course, or a messenger, coming towards the ship.
"Dinner!" Shouted Purrcules.
Clydesseus hissed at him to be quiet.
The
owl screeched in the heavens. "Oh noble, if foolish Clydesseus, plaything of
the Gods, loving spouse of Penelopuss, father of the tragic Telephoneous-- you must
cross Rainbow Bridge and return!
There will be many dangers and temptations, and no cat yet has returned from the
Bridge, but this you must do! When you cross the Bridge, seek out Queen Thusnelda,
your mother. She will show you the way home... if the Fates allow."
"How shall we find this Rainbow Bridge?" They all asked.
"Wait 'till it rains, then you'll see." The owl screeched and flew off.
They all muttered in wonder at this miraculous apparition. It seemed an exciting
adventure. Of course, they'd have to wait for rain, and judging by the sky, that
was extremely unlikely.
"Oh, what's the use?" Clydesseus moaned. "We're trapped in a calm.
There's not a cloud in the sky, and there's no hope for rain." He lay his head
on his paws again.
Now, Clydesseus was clever, but it's hard to be clever when you give up hope. So,
in return for all the kindness he had shown the band (which, admittedly wasn't much--
after all, he got them into this fix in the first place) they put their ears and
whiskers together to come up with a plan. Maybe some of Clydesseus' cleverness had
rubbed off on them, much like his fur did.
It occurred to them that Poseidon was an easy target. He had such a bad temper anyway,
a few insults should get a nice storm going.
So, they ran to the side of Roe Boat and started shouting personal insults at the
sea. Most of what they said was pretty obscene, and Poseidon shrugged it off as childish
prattle. But then, when they said his wife looked like a squid, or worse, Medusa
herself, well that was too much. He hated calimari.
Ignoring the injunction of the Fates, the Sea God conjured up a terrific storm, way
more than the band had counted on. The rain poured, the wind howled, the seas churned,
and the little boat tossed in the torrent. Quickly, the band amended their insult.
"Medusa, did we say Medusa? No, no, we meant Medea, Medea!" They screamed.
Since Medea was a tragic, yet beautiful woman, Poseidon calmed down, and the storm
subsided. And, as the owl had promised, a beautiful rainbow appeared in the sky.
A convenient sea current slowly drifted Roe Boat right up to the Gate of Rainbow
Bridge.
As the kitties looked in wonder at the great golden gate surrounded in mist, and
the beautiful path of the Rainbow, they knew the legends were true. It was a sight
that called the spirit home. No spirit could resist, for it was such a compelingly
beautiful and inviting sight. The light was soft and glowing, so many nice colors,
it seemed to draw them towards it.
But they all knew that Rainbow Bridge was a place no living cat would cross, and
would often put off crossing, as in the famous statement "We'll cross that bridge
when we come to it." If Clydesseus was to fulfill his destiny, he must cross
the Bridge, famous saying or not.
They were very wary for their noble King. But Clydesseus was not worried. The instruction
had come from Athena, who would not let any harm to come to them. They hadn't annoyed
her lately. In fact, she rather liked them.
Clydesseus bid his faithful, if hapless companions a fond farewell, with many kitty
rubs, licked his lips and jumped through the Gate onto Rainbow Bridge.
Now, Rainbow Bridge is kind of magical, and very wonderful. Once you decide to step
on it, there's no turning back. It carries you, gently, kindly, and peacefully into
a new plane of existence, one where there is no sadness and no pain, only peace and
love and joy.
That was the key in Athena's puzzle. You see, the reason no cat ever returned from
Rainbow Bridge wasn't because something horrible happened-- it was because something
wonderful happened. For on the other side of Rainbow Bridge is eternal peace, and
only a fool would give that up.
Fortunately for this story, Clydesseus was just such a fool. No problem, he'd be
back.
As Clydesseus strolled along the great Rainbow Bridge, he
saw the spirits of cats and people past floating in the eternal
ether. It was a heavenly place, filled with soft glowing light,
the aroma of many wonderful things, the feeling that only
comes from a really good MIDI
Clyde Tune, and a profound sense of peace. It was not
a place anyone would want to leave. And, the more he pondered
his situation, the more he forgot his life, the companions
he had left behind, and his poor, but still faithful, Penelopuss.
He looked to his left and saw something sparkling in the distance. It seemed intriguing,
and, being as curious as a cat can be, feeling perfectly safe, Clydesseus stepped
toward the edge of the Bridge, getting ready to pounce.
"Stay thy pounce, oh Prince!" Called a deep and sonorous meow from inside
a fog that had formed around him.
"I know that sound!" Said Clydesseus, looking up.
"Stay thy pounce and mark my words, oh King of Hissica." Again the voice
called out from the foggy distance.
"Who is there, who calls to me thus?" Cried the confused cat, feeling there
was something very familiar in the sound of the words.
"Do you not know me still?" Asked the voice, as the fog began to dissipate.
"Have you already forgotten the one who bore you, who loved you and nurtured
your young life?"
"Meowmie? It that my meowmie?" Clydesseus cried out, his eyes wide with
anticipation. Cats can get very attached to their mothers.
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"It IS, it IS my meowmie!" Cried Clydesseus and he bounded to the side of the reclining Queen.
How can mere words, even in a mini-epic of mini-epic proportions, describe the wondrous affection and joy at this reunion? Clydesseus was so overjoyed to be safe and warm with his mother, and she gently licked all the years and dust away from him, purring and rubbing as she did so. Clydesseus' purrs rumbled deeply, and, back on the boat, the band thought they heard the roll of thunder, though there was not a cloud in the sky.
"There now," said Tuzi, quite satisfied at the cleaning, and rollicking in Clydesseus persistent rubbing and buffeting. "I have wiped clean all the years that have passed before, and Time is once more where it should be for you. But you must hurry and go to your boat. Penelopuss is in a lot of hot water right now, for the suiters, those who like to sue, are after your kingdom. Fly home, my kitten, on the wings of a mother's love, fly across the sea and re-claim your kingdom!"
"Come with me." Asked Clydesseus.
"You know that cannot be." Tuzi gently replied.
"But, meowmie..."
"Listen well, my kitten. Yours is a great and wonderful destiny. Many adventures await you. The Fates will not have you staying here, it is not your time. The world, especially the world of the future, needs you to inspire them with your great deeds. You will be famous, and MIDI Clyde Tunes™ and songs of your praises will be heard for generations until finally, your true story will appear on the Internet."
"The Internet, what's that?!" Clydesseus sat bolt upright, switching his tail in anticipation.
Queen Thusnelda tried to explain the Internet to the wanderer, but they both got so confused, they passed out. Technological discussions can do that sometimes.
When they came to, Tuzi had to do a lot of licking to get the passing years off Clydesseus, but finally it was done.
"Go now, my adored one, and remember that you are always loved. Even the Gods love you, as they do all who are polite and courteous. By the way, you might try a little respect with Poseidon. You may find, it takes you far."
"That old..." Clydesseus began.
"Tut, tut," chided Tuzi, "respect! Okay? He's not such a bad Sea God. After all, he did deliberately confuse his tuna fish into thinking they were whales so they would beach themselves on your shores, thus creating a booming economy for your kingdom."
"If he did that FOR us, why did he kill my kitten Telephoneous!" Clydesseus argued.
"You ticked him off. Remember the whining? As to killing your son, did he?" The Queen switched her tail.
"He claimed to have done so, on the Island of Cissy."
"Perhaps he was confused, had a false vision, called the wrong psychic hot line? How would he know anyway? He was too busy chasing you down that, unless he had e-mail, there's no way he'd know what was happening on Hissica."
"But his curse!?"
"Did he use his trident?"
"Yes."
"You know, he has a very large collection of tridents. Some of them are stage props. He fancies himself an actor, that one does."
"What does THAT mean?" Clydesseus demanded.
"It means there are many clues to this riddle, and this is a game! Your life is a game, and you must figure out the clues to progress. A bit simplistic metaphor, I admit, but it's the best I can do without spoiling the game for you. It is time for you to return, look into my eyes and I will tell you the route home, using the sun to guide you!"
Clydesseus stared into Thusnelda's golden eyes, deep into the depths of her gaze and suddenly felt his memory, his mind filling with knowledge. It was an incredibly intimate experience.
It was done in a moment that seemed to last forever. Sadly, he turned to go, yet held his tail high in respect.
"I love you, mother." He paused, not looking back.
"I know." Queen Thusnelda replied.
"I'll come back for you some day, I promise." His voice trailed off in
the surrounding mist.
"When you do, you'll come to stay. And I will be here, as I have always been
here for you."
The swirling mists enveloped them both, and for a while, Clydesseus could not see
the magnificent Rainbow Bridge. But he felt it. Then, suddenly, in the mist he heard
the final warnings of his meowmie.
"Oh, hey, I almost forgot. Beware of Biffy and Buffy."
"Who are Biffy and Buffy?" Clydesseus cried out.
A faint, tiny echoing voice was all he heard in return, "Trouble."
With a sudden woosh, Clydesseus slid down Rainbow Bridge and fell into Roe Boat to
the astonishment of his waiting band.
"What?" He asked, licking his paw and coping an attitude.
"You just left. How'd you get back so quick?" They replied.
"It's a long story." Clydesseus answered.
"How long?"
"As long as we've been on this journey." His voice trailed off as Rainbow
Bridge faded from view. "But I know the way home." He looked down at his
paws.
Amazingly, they were clad in red running shoes. Clydesseus looked up with a broad,
pixie grin and said, "Watch this!"
He clicked the heels of his red running shoes together three times saying, "We
want to go home! Now!"
A great wind came up in the east and blew Roe Boat far across the sea, in the direction
of Hissica.
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